The SandwichThe Sandwich by apocathary
The Sandwich David Hepcott Enjoyed While His Mother Burned To Death In A House Fire
A single slice of ham lay with another of cheese, while the mustard raised a slight sting at the back of his throat. Halved diagonally, crust deftly sliced off; just the way he liked it.
|Exercises, scraps, and miscellaneous stuff that I've written.|
These are reviews of my work written by my very closest friends and readers of my work. I love all of them!
The degree of quality in apocathary's works is such that if I saw him on the street I would make my way over to him and swiftly run him through with my blade. Let it be understood that this murder would not be motivated by jealousy, but rather an attempt to slay the beast before its blight corrupts the entirety of the written word. At present he is mercifully confined to the digital realm, but it is only a matter of time, my fellows, until he manages by coincidence or manipulation to manifest in our physical world. On that day the sky shall rain bile and the seas will heave as the Earth Mother herself attempts to eject this sacrilege from its surface. Heed my warning! apocathary will devour us all! HE IS THE DESTRO--(transmission cut)
apocathary's works contain sentences which are in turn made up of words. The words, in a manner which reveals their function, are entirely composed of letters which can be said to belong to an alphabet. Occasionally numbers are present, but these are rare and generally considered to be mistakes. apocathary has shown he is able to take these building blocks and place them in such a way as to construct paragraphs, however it is uncertain if this is deliberate or merely accidental in the manner of a monkey brushing up against the return key. In any case, the paragraphs are commonly found to be loosely related in such a way as to suggest an overall narrative, but these relations are often tenuous or nonsensical.
If there is one word that can sum up apocathary's body of work, it would be 'bewildering'. Bewildering in the sense that one must wonder whether he has actually read any of his work before releasing it, like a rank fart, on the wider community. My beret could write with more skill than him; has done so in fact, with George Tsatsiki quoted as saying my beret's poems 'Have a fine weave about them.' In any case, if I were apocathary I would be leaning back and having a good head scratch, literally, to check if he has suffered any brain-damaging head wounds lately.
I just think it's so wonderful to see a writer like apocathary trying so hard to improve his writing. His stories are just so...special. They're like seeing that guy with no legs crossing the finishing line at the paralympics. While he may not ever write like you or I, he's doing his best in his own unique way. A tear wells in my eye everytime I see something new from him. But they aren't tears of sadness, nor happiness really; more a kind of pity that he'll never be able to write like a normal person. Good on you, apocathary! You keep doing whatever it is you might call what you're doing!
apocathary's body of work is like being stranded alone in the darkest bar in the worst part of town, and all of a sudden a massive, tattooed guy wearing a dress comes up to you and asks you to dance. You know you gotta do it, but you also know that at some point you're going to feel dirty. Real dirty. Dirty like rape. Fist rape. Brass-knuckle fist rape. Spiked brass knuckle fist rape. By Oprah. apocathary's writing is like getting spiked brass knuckle fist raped by Oprah.
My name is Phill and I'm a former () PhD student operating out of Perth, Western Australia. I've been here on dA for quite some time, and have been involved in all sorts of activites including, but not limited to: hosting a workshop at Writers-Workshop, drunken teamspeak story deliveries, hosting multiple competitions including the Ugly and Dream Journal contests, watching almost a dozen GD/GMs do their time, being the patron of three clubs (one of which even survived), alias trolling the forums, posting ill-thought-through dramallama-tastic journal entries, suggesting about a dozen DDs, receiving four DDs myself, moving accounts once, being staff at ProsePlease, suture, Wordspill, and LitFFS, quitting dA twice, coming back twice, declaring jihad on the 'P emoticon, and much much more. I'm aligned strongly with the camp that uses dA to try and improve their writing through feedback, but I'm as open to entertainment and socialising as anyone that joins the wild and wooly world of the forums and chats!
I've been spending progressively larger chunks of my spare time working on my stories. I'll let the reader make the call as to whether the extra time has been effective.
I'm always on the look out for being part of collaborations with visual artists. Whether it's providing the wordy part of your comic series, or something a bit more experimental. Give me a shout if you think I'm your man (:
My publication credits include Verandah, Voiceworks, Soundzine, and 365tomorrows, dotdotdash, Fractured West, and The Geek Mook. I really want to boost that record this year with submissions to a bunch of publications, but in order to do that I've got to write the words first!
Current Residence: Perth, Western Australia
22/05/2011 Comment on Amoreuse by BitchMedusa
16/05/2012 Critique on Thoja by BerylAlexandros
16/05/2012 Critique on Auckland Dreams by Cassildra
15/05/2012 Critique on Come On Eileen by PinkyMcCoversong
15/05/2012 Comment on Catallus by PinkyMcCoversong
10/05/2012 Critique on Waiting for the Train by Metarex12
10/05/2012 Comment on Ice Cubes by rockstar1009
09/05/2012 Critique on Street Performers by neurotype
^After NEW NEW forum thread
17/1/2012 Critique on Smokestacks, Trench Coats, and Silence by saevuswinds
16/1/2012 Critique on Timeless by Lucy-Merriman
15/1/2011 Critique on The Courier by phoenixofthenet
12/1/2012 (lol)Comment on ODE TO PINEAPPLE by Sperpy
12/1/2012 Critique on Cassette Tape by CrumpetsHarvey
12/1/2012: Critique on Monday Ch 1, part 2 by thorns
12/1/2012: Comment on Monday Ch 1, part 1 by thorns
^After coming back again (again)^
16/12/2010: Critique on Azure Glass: Prologue by AlecWolfe
7/12/2010: Comment on Given-the-Chance by GwenavhyeurAnastasia
30/11/2010: Comment on Alone Till the End by xTalithax
25/11/2010: Critique on Dolente by pullingcandy
24/11/2010: Comment on A Rare Feeling by NudeDoctor
23/11/2010: Comment on Scratch by Niallthecool
23/11/2010: Critique on Sly Razor by K47454k1
21/11/2010: Critique on The Name by clownscape
20/11/2010 Critique on Aphrodite by Memnalar
20/11/2010 Comment on The Raven by art-acheiver-4eva
16/11/2010 Comment on Sex, Guns and Lies by Magic-fan
16/11/2010 Comment on Roots by corvuscreative
14/10/2010 Comment on In Love With You by aBlondMoment
13/10/2010 Comment on One - The Parents - Ch. 2 by CharredTears
13/10/2010 Comment on A tourist by Niallthecool
4/10/2010 Comment on Chess and Life Thereafter C1 by K47454k1
1/10/2010 Comment on Obsession and Monsters by theforsaken4
^After forum thread^
Comment on 1st draft-untitled-edit by ~lerkingshadow
Comment on Always and Forever by *xfaith-in-youx
#399607632 on The Death of Perfection by Em-E-chan
#356523694 on A Children's Novel by *essayist
#344631981 on Embrace by ~Ageotas
#343717822 on Children's War Game, Chapter 1 by ~jdskeleven
#340385060 on Hunting Darkness by =Triseena
#338196119 on Redemption Lost by ~Anglinagirl
#328802252 on Draft - Mother Nature by =bleebt (marathon!)
#327803927 on Solace by ~jdskeleven
#326811094 on Trust - Chapter 1 Part 1 by ~Varian-Nearic
#325402882 on Prologue by =bleebt
#324851091 on US2 Chapter 7: The Firewalker by =draco13
#324841443 on 9.33pm by ~CatchMe-22
Comment on by :dev:
|If you have gained anything from my critiques or merely like what I'm doing with them, consider donating to this pool. I'll be using any donations to offer prizes in competitions that will be organised once the donation pool is filled. NO POINTS WILL BE USED FOR MYSELF!|